Well this could not of come at a better time as Mental Health Awareness week has just been and im so pleased more people are talking about this we need to remove the stigma in which this has caused over the years,
I have those down days as if you follow me on Instagram you will see as I try and share with you all the good and bad as keeping it real is so important. I always over think things and push my body to its absolute limit which does not help with fibromyalgia. Im always hitting that reset button,
I find life here so overwhelming at times I don’t know how to think breath or be me some days its like im on auto pilot but ive forgotten to press the button. I have nothing to feel low about Im so much more fortunate than many others so why should I feel like this. Its like the devil comes and sits on your shoulder just to whisper in my ear. We all have those thoughts whilst we are driving what if I was to stear the car into the on coming traffic, would anyone notice if I was not here, And even having those thought’s I dont actually go through with them but I surpress those thoughts with other ones its like I have two heads battling with each other.
I feel no one listens when I talk or is even interested in anything I say or do I feel lonely at times and that is crazy as I have a great husband and two kids which come with there own problems, and a handful of friends, but we all get caught up in are own little worlds to stop and think about each other.
I try to be upbeat after all I’m an independent woman who can take on the world, but sometimes thats not always the case I really need to say No I cant do it I need help, after all what example am I setting My kids, its ok not to be able to do everything.
finding this happy balance is such a hard game to play at times just when I think yes im winning at life it knocks on the door and says hello rememeber me.
I think social media can have a huge impact on people these days with the home accounts on Instagram looking so perfect and not being real if you look at the picture before they made it look all “insta worthy” you would see such a difference, We compare so much to others. I get it we all want that nice photo to share with others and thats really good just keep it real at times, who would of thought of the pressure social media can have on people these days its crazy. I have to take a step back at times as I stop and look at my own home and see all the faults after i see all the lovely pics on IG
I do find having my allotment is helping so much it takes my mind off things and I get so lost in my own world up there. It has helped me deal with alot of stresses ive been having with my teenage kids but thats another blog post.
I need to stop being wonder woman and doing more things for me, as in this world you have to look after no one so if that means you have to ask for help by talking with a professional, friend or family about your feelings do it, it does not make you weak by saying you just want a bit of help. this is all very easy said than done at times as I just sit and deal with things on my own so I suppose me writing this on here is a way of letting you all in
This is very real for me to put it out there my thoughts but feel its a way of getting it off my chest. As im sure im not the only one who feels like this.
Thank you so much for sticking this post out if you haven’t fallen asleep. I will be doing another post on self care and what I have been doing to better Me which I will write up for you soon.